Kink: Object Penetration
Series: Toward the Terra
Warnings: It's a fic for kink bingo. It's kinky, and X-rated. Also dub-con is pretty much a given with this pairing.
More than anything Matsuka wants a place to belong.
There was no answer to Matsuka's knock at the door, but that wasn't unusual. The commander knew the sound of his tentative knock, and would ignore him if there was something more important to attend to. Just about everything ranked higher on Keith Anyan's priority list than his despised aide, so it wasn't often that Matsuka received a response.
When he pushed the door open, however, Matsuka was struck by a wave of pain and grief so deep it actually physically staggered him. Trying desperately to clamp down on the overload, Matsuka threw the world around him into slow motion and scanned the area for the attacker.
Only when he managed to wrestle a thin excuse for a shield between him and the invading emotions did Matsuka register that it was dark in the room beyond. A moment later he realized the source of the emotions was the commander himself, and no one else was present.
With a soft gasp, Matsuka released time and allowed the world to proceed normally again. There was no threat - Keith had gone to sleep at something approaching a reasonable hour for a change, and he was having a nightmare.
That should have been the end of it. Matsuka was strictly forbidden to approach the commander while he slept. He should have backed away, let the door close, and returned in the morning.
He should have, but he couldn't. The emotional agony pulled at him. He couldn't turn his back when the commander was hurting so badly.
Cautiously he entered the room, letting the door swish shut behind him. Inside he stood for a moment, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. He was glowing faintly, the excess energy created by his hated Mu powers just enough for him to make out the dark bulk of the desk, table, and the bunk beyond.
Moving slowly so his booted feet would make no sound, he approached the bed where Keith lay tangled in his sheets. Many people whispered that the commander had no emotions at all, that he never felt pain or regret or sorrow. Matsuka of all people knew better. Keith felt all those things a hundred times more deeply than an ordinary person, he just buried them all beneath a thick shell and soldiered on.
Standing over the sleeping form, he reached out to hover his hand over Keith's head, and closed his eyes to better concentrate. The emotions were pounding at his mind, trying to tear him apart, and he felt tears running over his cheeks in response. How could Keith live with this every day, and hide it well enough that even Matsuka could only sense it when he let his guard down in his sleep?
Slowly, carefully, he reached out with his powers. He found the best of his own emotions - love, acceptance, joy - and projected them at the commander. Negative and positive met, clashed, and tangled, struggling for dominance. The harder Matsuka concentrated, the more the negative feelings were forced to subside, leaving Keith able to sleep without pain. This much, at least, he could do for the older man.
Unexpected pain shot through his wrist and the world spun around him. Matsuka gasped and his eyes flew open, just as his back struck the mattress hard enough to stop him from drawing breath again. He wheezed, fighting for air, staring up at Keith now leaning over him.
"Finally decided to kill me after all?" Keith said, his voice detached and unconcerned. He squeezed harder on Matsuka's wrist, hard enough to force a breathless cry from him. "You should have been faster about it."
"No," Matsuka choked out, shaking his head frantically. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind. It hadn't occurred to him in months, truly. "No, I swear, I was just trying to help, you were hurting so much..."
Immediately he knew it had been the wrong thing to say. Keith's face tightened in anger, and he pulled his gun from beneath the pillow to aim it at Matsuka's head. "Filthy Mu," he spat. "How dare you try to read my mind. I've warned you before what will happen if you use your powers on me."
Heart pounding, Matsuka stared up at him, fully expecting him to pull the trigger any moment. They had been building toward this from the first day he'd been assigned to Keith as a guide and assistant, since Keith had so easily discovered the horrible secret Matsuka had kept hidden from everyone else. He still didn't know why Keith had let him go that day, why the man continued to allow him to live and serve him while the commander ruthlessly hunted down and captured every other Mu.
Something unreadable flitted through Keith's eyes, and his face went cold again. "Strip."
"Wh-what?" Matsuka looked up at him with wide eyes, certain he'd misheard.
The click of the hammer being pulled back echoed far too loudly in the darkness. "I said, strip."
"Yes, sir," Matsuka squeaked, and scrambled to obey. Keith didn't release his wrist, forcing him to fumble one-handed with the fastenings of his uniform. Every extra second it took had Matsuka sweating with the certainty that the commander would punish him for it. Only when he'd squirmed out of as much of his clothes as he possibly could did Keith sit back on his heels and allow him the use of both hands.
With the gun still trained unwavering on him, Matsuka removed the last of his uniform. When he was done he sat there on the bed, uncertain what was coming or what he was supposed to do next. There were plenty of commanders in the armed forces who made regular use of their young, attractive subordinates, but Keith had never been one of that type. In fact Matsuka was almost certain Keith never allowed himself that sort of release at all, unless it was in private with no company.
"On your hands and knees, Mu," Keith ordered, his voice low enough it was almost a growl. "Kneel like the dog you are."
Trembling, Matsuka obeyed, turning over and pushing himself up to kneel on the bed. From this position he couldn't see the commander, and he jumped when cold metal brushed his bare ass. He bit his lip to try to stifle an embarrassed whimper. He'd never felt so exposed and humiliated.
Then it was even worse, as Keith pressed one hand firmly against the back of his neck, forcing his head down until he was half-smothered in the pillow. The new position pushed his ass up into the air, like a whore begging to be taken. Dizzily Matsuka wondered if he should tell the commander that skin-to-skin contact made it almost impossible for him to block out emotions. Waves of mingled loathing and lust surged over him, tangling with his own already confused feelings of worship and resentment.
He moaned as he felt his cock hardening in response, helpless to prevent the reaction. He knew the moment the commander noticed the change, because the lust pouring off him increased in intensity and made Matsuka go harder still. "Filthy whore," Keith murmured. "But then, your very existence is a perversion of humanity, so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised you're perverted in other ways."
"I'm not..." Matsuka gasped, shaking his head. He could feel the blush sweeping over his cheeks and making his ears burn. "I don't..."
"Silence," Keith snapped. "You'll speak when I tell you to. This is your punishment, and you will take it without complaint. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," Matsuka whispered.
This time Keith did more than just brush the gun against him, dragging the muzzle against his flesh with enough force to hurt. Matsuka bit his lip, hard enough that the sharp metallic taste of blood flooded his mouth. When Keith pressed the muzzle against his entrance Matsuka gasped, but somehow managed to stop himself from crying out.
It hurt beyond anything Matsuka had ever felt before. It felt like he was being torn apart as the unyielding metal forced its way into his body. The gun was large and blocky, and he could feel every corner and groove dragging against his sensitive skin.
Worse than the pain was the pleasure, and worse than that was the uncertainty of whether the reaction was his or Keith's. Matsuka's cock was so hard it was weeping, rubbing slick trails against his stomach as his muscles jerked in an instinctive attempt to reject the invasion. When he turned his head he could just see Keith behind him, the commander's stony expression giving no indication of the heated turmoil Matsuka knew was raging within him.
Clenching his fists in the sheet, Matsuka forced his body to relax as much as he could, focusing on Keith's stormy eyes as an anchor. Then the muzzle brushed against something inside him that made him see stars, sharps stabs of pleasure shooting through his body like bullets from the gun. He couldn't stop himself from crying out, a delirious moan that tore itself from his throat as he rocked back into the touch, begging for more.
The contempt on the commander's face was as clear as the frenzied need Matsuka could read in his heart. The ache of emptiness, of being forever alone even while this close to another person, could have come from either of them. Perhaps it was from both of them, the thin ribbon of connection that drew them together despite everything pushing them apart.
Keith twisted his wrist, tilting the gun inside Matsuka's body so that it drove straight against that spot. Then he began to thrust with it, and Matsuka forgot all about restraint and silence. He moaned and writhed, rocking into the thrusts no matter how he tried to stay still. His cock throbbed with each motion, the need for release clawing at him with increasing urgency, but he didn't dare move to take himself in hand. The hammer was still cocked, and one wrong move from him could easily convince Keith to pull the trigger.
Power rose up along with the desire within him, pushing and pushing at the barriers of his mind until Matsuka couldn't contain it any longer. It spilled over, his desire rushing back along the connection between him and the commander, wringing a gasp from the older man. "You dare," Keith snarled, and thrust brutally hard with the gun.
"I can't," Matsuka nearly wailed, his words muffled by the pillow. "I can't, please, I can't help it, oh god, please..." He wasn't sure whether he was begging Keith not to kill him, or begging for release.
Then it didn't matter anymore, because all the pleasure and pain gathered into a bright, shining ball within him, and exploded. Matsuka thought he might have screamed as he came, but it was hard to be certain because the roaring in his ears was too loud for him to hear anything else. He emptied himself onto the commander's sheets, engulfed in a spiral of hatred and need that threatened to tear him apart. The blinding release of orgasm poured through the connection as well, and he felt the sharp point of tension that was Keith's need ease as it hit him as well.
Reality returned slowly, painfully. Matsuka's breath caught in his throat as Keith withdrew the gun, his ass throbbing now that the pleasure masking the worst of the pain was ebbing. Vaguely he was aware that he was no longer on his hands and knees, sprawled boneless and limp over the mattress. Before he could panic that Keith would punish him for disobeying, he was startled by the realization that the commander was draped over him, pinning him down. Skin to skin for the length of their bodies, Matsuka could feel every twist of Keith's emotions.
And he was shocked to feel how much of the hatred was directed inwards. Keith loathed himself for his weakness in needing this release, this contact with another human being. Even if Matsuka wasn't, strictly speaking, a human at all. That made it worse, because the thought of being with a Mu was literally repulsive to Keith.
But it also allowed the man to tell himself that it wasn't his fault or his doing, that the filthy Mu was forcing him to feel these things, forcing him to share the perverted enjoyment of the punishment. It let him absolve himself of some of the weight of guilt and shame.
In that moment, Matsuka finally understood what his purpose was. This man, so strong, so alone, so hurting inside... only Matsuka could ease that, because only Matsuka was despised enough and yet trusted with Keith's life. Closing his eyes, Matsuka accepted that purpose, even welcomed it gladly. If his hated powers were able to help the commander, he would use them and give thanks for them.
With a grunt Keith rolled off him. "Get out," he said, his voice hoarse. "Next time, I will shoot you."
Matsuka's ears heard the words, and the coldly calculated tone of threat. But his heart and mind heard what lay beneath. Next time...
"Yes, sir," he said, an answer to the promise, not the threat.