I actually wrote the first half of this in April, but then trailed off and wasn't sure where to take it. When I saw the sleepy/unconscious square on my card, I knew I had to finish this one. ^_^
Series: Ouran Host Club
Warnings: It's a fic for kink bingo. It's kinky, and X-rated.
Watching Kaoru is like looking in a mirror.
The ceiling was not the most interesting thing Hikaru had ever looked at. For one thing, he'd seen it plenty of times before. He and Kaoru had shared this room since they'd been old enough to sleep in a bed.
Sighing, he rolled over. The wall was marginally more interesting to see, though the thin line of light on the horizon visible through the window was annoying. Not because it was shining in his eyes, but because it meant he was awake way before he was supposed to be. He wasn't even sure what had woken him, but now that he'd opened his eyes he couldn't seem to get back to sleep.
Rolling over again, he faced his twin. Kaoru was having no such issues. He was sound asleep, one hand tucked beneath his cheek, the covers shoved down to his waist. "Oi, Kaoru," Hikaru said. "Ka-o-ru. Kaoru!"
There was no response. They were both normally difficult to wake up, and they'd been known to sleep through servants shouting at them, mid-sized earthquakes, and even a nanny who'd tried pouring cold water on them. Hikaru persisted, poking the other boy repeatedly in the shoulder. If he had to be awake, his twin could at least keep him company and suffer with him.
Kaoru only mumbled something incoherent and shifted onto his back, trying to move himself out of reach of the annoyance. There was a slight wrinkle between his brows, but he was definitely still asleep.
Huffing, Hikaru tried poking his hip instead. When that didn't work, he changed tactics. Kaoru was terribly ticklish in the hollow where his stomach dipped to meet his hipbone, and his boxers were riding low. Hikaru skittered his fingers over the exposed skin, using just enough pressure with his nails to torture. Kaoru murmured and squirmed, but remained stubbornly asleep.
Then again, maybe he was only pretending to sleep, hoping Hikaru would give up and leave him alone. "If you don't wake up, I'm gonna do something dirty to you," Hikaru chanted, letting his customary wicked grin spread over his face. "Three... two... one... okay, you asked for it!"
He reached out and grabbed his twin's dick through his boxers, figuring that would either shock him awake or startle him into giving himself away. Instead Kaoru gave a little moan and arched up into the contact, his cheeks flushed but his eyes still closed.
Hikaru felt his own eyes go wide, and his heartbeat seemed oddly heavy in his chest. It wasn't the first time he'd touched his twin there - there was no privacy between them, and they'd helped wash each other all their lives. Not to mention the usual sort of adolescent comparing to see whose was bigger, and teasing grabs like the one he'd just made. It also wasn't the first time he'd heard Kaoru make a noise like that, since they'd never much worried about the other one being around when they were jerking off.
But it was the first time he'd heard that noise while he was the one touching Kaoru. He knew he should pull away, since it hadn't worked, but he couldn't get his body to move. He remained leaning over his twin, frozen in place with his hand on Kaoru's dick and his eyes locked on the other boy's flushed face. Kaoru made a distressed noise and rocked his hips up, pushing his rapidly swelling erection against Hikaru's hand, tossing his head fitfully on the pillow.
Swallowing hard, Hikaru squeezed his hand, and Kaoru moaned again. Whatever he'd been dreaming about before, Hikaru had apparently turned it into a wet dream, and Kaoru seemed perfectly happy to go along with it. He was panting softly now, his expression needy and vulnerable. It was sort of like when they acted for the Host Club, but... different. More intimate. Hikaru didn't think he'd ever seen his twin's face quite that open before.
He wondered if that was what he looked like, when he was jerking off. He'd tried looking in a mirror a few times, but he could never quite manage to keep his eyes open the whole time. And he'd never actually watched Kaoru doing it, because just staring at his twin masturbating would have been weird even for them.
He wondered what he would look like when he came.
Without quite intending to do it, Hikaru found himself stroking his hand slowly over his twin's cock. Kaoru made eager little noises and thrust himself into the touch, fists clenching in the sheet as his body strained towards orgasm. The delicate flush on his cheeks spread further, and Hikaru caught himself wishing his twin's eyes were open, so he'd be able to see the glazed look of pleasure there.
Kaoru cried out as he came, moisture seeping through the material of his briefs to slick Hikaru's palm. Kaoru remained tense for a moment longer, before relaxing slowly into the mattress, his body trembling slightly and face turned into the pillow.
Only then did Hikaru realize that he was panting and overheated as well, and that his cock was hard enough to ache. He snatched his hand back, a little appalled at himself. What the hell had he just done? Their forbidden love act for the club was just that - an act. Sure, they were closer than most siblings, maybe even closer than most lovers, but not that way.
Kaoru moaned again, and his eyelashes fluttered as he started to wake. Hikaru belatedly realized he was still kneeling there, his hand covered in Kaoru's semen and a hard-on clearly visible through his straining boxers. Cursing under his breath, he scrambled off the bed and bolted for the door.
"Hikaru?" he heard Kaoru say, sleep and the lingering effects of orgasm making his voice rough. Not trusting his own voice, Hikaru only shook his head and darted into their bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Then he did something he couldn't remember ever doing before; he reached behind him and locked the door, so Kaoru wouldn't be able to follow him in.
Only then did he slide down to sit on the floor with his back to the door, and shove his hand into his boxers to curl around his own cock. The same hand still covered with Kaoru's come, making his strokes a little sticky. The door vibrated against him as Kaoru pounded on it, and he heard his twin calling his name in concern.
With his twin's voice in his ears and the memory of his twin's face in his mind's eye, Hikaru stuffed his fist into his mouth to stifle himself and came harder than he could ever remember doing before.
Thankfully Kaoru didn't push him about it, accepting Hikaru's mumbled excuse that his stomach had been upset and he hadn't wanted Kaoru to walk in and get thrown up on. Of course that meant Kaoru also spent the whole day hovering over him, worried about his 'illness'. They rarely got sick separately; generally if one of them was exposed to something, the other was too. Hikaru insisted that it must have been something he'd eaten and that he was fine now, but Kaoru stuck even closer to him than usual for the rest of the day.
That didn't help Hikaru to forget about the whole thing. Every time he looked up there was Kaoru watching him, his eyes wide and worried. And of course every time Hikaru would think about what had happened that morning and flush, which led Kaoru to believe he was coming down with a fever, which only made him fuss more.
Hikaru wasn't sure whether to be grateful or not that they didn't have Host Club that afternoon. Playing their usual game of forbidden love would have been more difficult than usual, though quite possibly everyone would have assumed his blushing was just part of the act. On the other hand, not having the club meant they just had that much more time alone at home.
"Maybe you should rest for a while?" Kaoru suggested as they dropped their bags on their desks and started stripping out of their school uniforms. He paused, and tilted his head at his twin. "Hikaru? Are you okay? You're just standing there staring into space."
Realizing that he'd frozen halfway through unbuttoning his jacket, Hikaru blushed and shook his head hard. He hadn't been staring into space, he'd been watching Kaoru strip. Damn it, he had to shake this ridiculous new obsession. Maybe he should stop protesting so hard that he wasn't sick, since it gave him a good excuse for his preoccupation.
"Yeah, maybe you're right," he said, hoping his voice wasn't actually as husky as it sounded to him. He got his jacket and shirt off, then turned his back on his twin as he shed his pants and quickly crawled into their bed, yanking the covers up over him. Hopefully Kaoru hadn't spotted his erection. He'd been at least half hard all damned day.
Gentle fingers carded through his hair, as Kaoru pushed his bangs back off his face. "If you need anything, let me know," Kaoru said softly. "I'll just be over here, studying."
What Hikaru needed was to stop bloody well thinking about what Kaoru looked like when he came. He swallowed, and forced himself to nod. "Thanks, Kaoru. Sorry for being a pain."
Kaoru chuckled softly and ran his hands through Hikaru's hair one last time before going back to his desk. Hikaru closed his eyes and listened to his twin rummaging through his schoolbooks, then settle at the desk and start typing on his laptop. All the while Hikaru did his best to think about the least sexy things he could imagine, starting with ice cubes and glaciers and moving on from there.
After a while his erection finally flagged, and he was able to breathe a little more normally. He rolled over and studied his twin at the desk. Kaoru was biting his lower lip as he concentrated, a trait they shared. Hikaru squinted and tried to picture actually kissing Kaoru. They'd come close half a hundred times in the game they played for the Host Club, so it shouldn't have been that hard. But he couldn't quite imagine crossing that final inch of distance. It would be like... like kissing his reflection.
Besides, if they were kissing, he wouldn't be able to see Kaoru's face properly. It was the completely debauched look on his twin's face that was fascinating him so much, not the fact that he'd been touching his twin. And fuck, he needed to stop thinking about it before he got hard again.
He sighed and flopped over onto his stomach, crossing his arms under the pillow. Kaoru glanced over his shoulder. "Everything okay?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm bored," Hikaru admitted, fidgeting. "I'm not sick enough to sleep, so I'm just lying here staring at the backs of my eyelids." Not staring at Kaoru, not at all.
"Want me to come read to you?" Kaoru asked, the familiar impish grin lighting face. "A chapter or two of our classic lit homework ought to have you out cold."
Hikaru snorted in amusement. "Yeah, this novel's worse than most. Sure, why not. Then at least I'm studying too, kind of."
Kaoru crawled onto his side of the bed, fluffing the pillows behind him and leaning against the headboard with the book propped up in his lap. Having his twin closer made Hikaru feel a little better, as it always did. Sometimes he wished they'd been siamese twins, so they'd never be separated.
In the end he did drift off to sleep, with Kaoru's soft voice echoing in his ears and the memory of Kaoru's even softer moans tormenting him.
Of course, falling asleep so early in the day when he wasn't actually sick had one major drawback; he woke in the middle of the night and found himself staring up at the ceiling once more, far too awake to sleep again.
Growling under his breath, Hikaru gave serious thought to smothering himself with the pillow. He was hard again, his dreams having been full of heated flesh and soft moans. And there was Kaoru, sound asleep just inches away from him, turned on his side to face Hikaru. He'd probably fallen asleep while watching over him, knowing his brother.
Hikaru shifted, and had to bite down on a moan when the movement made the sheet rub against his sensitive cock. He needed to leave, to creep into the bathroom and take care of the problem without waking Kaoru. Maybe then he'd be able to sleep again, though he doubted it.
Except... except... gods help him, he wanted to see Kaoru's face again. He wanted to come while watching his brother do the same.
Moving slowly, Hikaru rolled over on his side facing Kaoru. Sound sleeper or not, he didn't want to risk waking his brother, considering what he was about to do. Trembling a little, he slid his hand over the bed between them, and reached for his brother's dick. This morning had been an accident, but this was deliberate, and the knowledge of the wrongness of what he was doing left him shaky in a way their forbidden love act never had.
A tiny gasp escaped him when his hand met soft flesh instead of fabric. They often slept nude, but just as often in their boxers. This time Hikaru was able to run his fingers over the sensitive skin, dropping down to tease Kaoru's balls briefly. His twin made an indistinct noise and tossed his head, and a flush crept over his cheeks even as his cock began to harden in Hikaru's hand.
Gritting his teeth against the moan that wanted release, Hikaru dropped his other hand down and grabbed his own cock. His dick was hard, as hard as it had been that morning, and it was difficult not to make any noise as he squeezed the flesh and began slowly stroking.
Kaoru's hips rocked up, pressing his swelling cock against Hikaru's hand, and Hikaru obliged him by wrapping his fingers around the length and sliding his hand up and down the shaft. He matched the rhythm of his hands, though he eased the strength of his grip on himself. He wanted to come at the same time as Kaoru, or just after, but he was already far closer than his twin.
Then to his dismay Kaoru shifted, turning his hips further into Hikaru's grasp but also burying his face into the pillow. Hikaru slowed the motion of his hands, but although that won him another of those delicious moans, it didn't make Kaoru turn back again. If he stopped completely Kaoru might wake in frustration, and that would ruin everything.
With a whispered but heartfelt curse, Hikaru let go of his own dick and reached out to tug on the cover of the pillow. That flattened it enough to let him see at least half his twin's face, but there was no way to pin it down. Maybe he could nudge Kaoru's shoulder gently enough to coax him to turn over? No, damn it, he didn't dare risk it.
Still, at least he could watch the rest of Kaoru's reaction, and there was no stopping now. Hikaru dropped his hand back to his own erection, teasing himself by playing with the foreskin for a moment before gripping it tightly again. Kaoru was now steadily rocking his hips, thrusting through the ring of Hikaru's fingers, and the flush had spread down over his chest. Hikaru followed the path of it with his eyes, grateful for the bright moonlight spilling through their window that let him make out the details.
Hikaru was getting close, and he thought Kaoru was as well. His twin was making jerky little breathless noises, and his cock was leaking enough precome to ease the glide of Hikaru's hand over his flesh. Panting for air, Kaoru finally turned onto his back, probably stifled by the pillow.
Eagerly Hikaru raised his eyes again, happy he wouldn't have to miss the sight of Kaoru's face as he came after all. Then his eyes met his twin's, and his heart stopped as he realized Kaoru was looking back at him with an expression of confused arousal in his eyes.
He froze in horror, though the sharp ache in his groin protested the sudden loss of stimulation. Kaoru cried out softly and writhed against his hand. "Nn, don't stop," Kaoru begged breathlessly.
Hikaru was pretty sure his twin was just still half-asleep and not thinking about anything beyond the needs of his body. He'd regret it when he came back to his senses and realized what was actually happening. Still Hikaru couldn't make himself pull his hand away. The damage was already done, wasn't it? His body was urging him to see this to the end.
Before he could make up his mind one way or the other, slender fingers wrapped around his and nudged him into moving again. Both hands, the one around Kaoru's cock and the one around his own. The angle meant the palm of Kaoru's hand was rubbing over the head of Hikaru's dick with every stroke, and it was too much to take. Still watching the look of sleepy pleasure in Kaoru's eyes, Hikaru fell over the edge with a sharp cry and came all over their joined hands.
He lost track of the world for a moment, and by the time he returned to himself Kaoru was moaning an endless stream of wordless pleas, the movement of his hips sharp and uncontrolled against Hikaru's hand. Recovering enough to open his eyes, Hikaru was just in time to see Kaoru's eyes flutter closed instead, lips parted and cheeks flushed as he came.
Hikaru tried to pull away, caught by a panicked instinct to run so he wouldn't have to face the destruction of their relationship that was about to follow. Kaoru's hands tightened on his, holding him in place. He could have broken free, but not without hurting his twin, and he could never bring himself to do that.
After a long moment Kaoru's body relaxed into the mattress again, and he opened his eyes and turned to look at Hikaru. He was still panting a little, and still beautifully flushed - and to Hikaru's confusion, although he was clearly more awake than before, there was still no sign of anger or recrimination in his expression.
"I'm not crazy. You were touching me this morning, weren't you?" Kaoru asked softly.
The blush that sprang to Hikaru's cheeks had nothing to do with arousal and everything to do with shame. But he couldn't lie to his twin, not that there was any point to trying. "Yeah," he admitted painfully. "I just... I was trying to wake you up and it got kinda out of hand. Kaoru, I'm sor..."
"Hush," Kaoru interrupted him. He lifted the hand he had wrapped around Hikaru's cock and placed it over his lips instead, but still didn't release his grip on Hikaru's other hand, keeping him pinned in place. "I'm not mad, I just wasn't sure if I was imagining things. I couldn't exactly ask you! But why tonight?"
There had never been any secrets between them, but Hikaru desperately wished he could keep this one. It was clear that Kaoru wasn't going to let him go until he had an answer he was satisfied with.
"It was... I wanted to see your face again when you came," Hikaru mumbled, dropping his eyes. "It was hot, and I kind of always wanted to know what I looked like but I've never been able to watch the whole time in a mirror, and why are you laughing?" he demanded as the soft sound of Kaoru's chuckle finally registered.
When he looked up again, he found his twin giving him that impish grin they so often used on other people. "Well, that's only fair. I watch you all the time when we're jerking off," Kaoru told him, utterly flooring him.
"You do?" So much for that being too weird even for them.
Finally Kaoru released him, reaching up over his head to stretch instead. When he was done he curled up on his side, one hand tucked under his cheek, still grinning at Hikaru. "Sure. You never even peeked, so I thought you'd be disgusted if you knew I couldn't resist watching you. I'm relieved, to be honest."
"Yeah, but you never touched me," Hikaru said, still scrambling to understand. "I was molesting you in your sleep, Kaoru!"
"Mm-hm. Nice way to wake up," Kaoru said, his smile softening. "I don't mind. Might have to return the favour sometime. Though I don't know, it's even better to watch when you're watching back."
"Oh." Hikaru tried to process that, though he was somewhat distracted by the flash of heat that ran through him at the idea of waking up to Kaoru's hand on him. "So we're okay, then?" He had to ask, to be sure, because Kaoru meant too much to him to risk fucking it up on a misunderstanding.
"We're okay," Kaoru confirmed. "It's more like another kind of masturbation, almost. Easier than using a mirror, and it's kind of nice when it's someone else's hand."
"Yeah," Hikaru breathed out, relieved that their feelings matched so closely. It shouldn't have surprised him, but he was grateful anyway. "You know most people would think this is weird."
"Most people would think it's weird that we jerk off in front of each other, and that's never bothered us," Kaoru pointed out. He shifted closer to Hikaru, and squirmed until they were lying together with their arms wrapped around each other, Kaoru's head tucked under Hikaru's chin. Kaoru yawned, wide enough that Hikaru was surprised his jaw didn't crack. "Unlike some people, I didn't pretend to be sick and get to nap all afternoon. I'm going back to sleep."
"You just want me to wake you up again," Hikaru teased, and got a fist in the ribs as an answer. In short order Kaoru's body had relaxed against his, and he could feel the slow, rhythmic gusting of air across his collarbone when Kaoru had his face pressed against Hikaru's chest.
To his surprise, Hikaru felt himself drifting off again as well. He didn't fight it, grateful he wasn't going to end up spending half the night awake.
And maybe if he was really lucky, Kaoru would make good on that threat to return the favour in the morning.