Kink: Gender Play
Series: Persona 4
Rating: R (maybe PG13 T_T)
Warnings: None, really.
For perhaps the first time in her life, she was truly grateful she'd been born a girl.
Naoto's hand slipped on the knob as she closed the door behind her. Her palms were sweating, she realized. Well, that matched the way her heart was pounding so hard she thought her ribs might shatter. If she'd ever been this nervous in her life, she couldn't remember it.
It was ridiculous, really. It wasn't as if Souji-senpai was going to laugh at her or make fun of her. That just wasn't the sort of person he was. Oh, he'd tell her if she was making a fool of herself, but he would do it gently and tactfully. But even if he smiled and said she looked nice, that wasn't what she wanted. Or rather, it wasn't all she wanted.
Most of all, she wanted to see that look in his eyes. The one she'd seen so many boys give Rise or Yukiko-senpai. The look that said he thought she was desirable, not as a friend, but as a woman.
She'd never had anyone look at her that way before she'd met him. If she'd cared at all, it was only to be grateful - being beautiful would have made her disguise as a boy less effective. But now, for the first time in her life, she wanted to see someone look at her like that. Someone in particular.
She'd seen flashes of it from him, she was certain of it. Especially... the last time she'd been in his room. But tonight, she hoped for more than just flashes.
Heat prickled at her face, and she realized she was blushing. Quickly she splashed some cold water on her face, trying to cool her cheeks. Inside the bag she'd brought with her was the girl's uniform Yakushiji had prepared for her. The blouse wasn't too different from other shirts she'd worn, and it fit her well enough once she released the bindings that held her chest flat. Usually it only embarrassed her that her breasts were so full, and still growing. Tonight, the thought of Souji appreciating them made her shiver.
The skirt felt considerably odder. She'd only very rarely worn skirts in the past, and never one so short. It didn't even reach her knees, and it felt like every stray draft crept up her legs to tease the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. She felt horribly exposed, and wondered how other girls could stand walking around like this all day.
Slowly she pulled on the scrap of silk and lace that apparently passed for women's intimate underwear. The feel of the soft fabric sliding up the skin of her legs only made her more hyper-aware of every touch, but it was a pleasant sensation. Despite herself she imagined what it might feel like to have Souji's hands follow that same path, and she had to bite her lip to stifle a small moan. Perhaps there were some advantages to skirts.
When she glanced at herself in the mirror, she felt a quiver of unease. She looked more like a boy playing dress-up than a real girl. Maybe it was because she felt awkward in the skirt and it showed, or maybe it was the lack of make-up. Maybe it was just that she was used to seeing herself dressed like a boy. Whatever the case, it wasn't the effect she'd been hoping for.
She almost changed her mind. She could still put her normal clothes back on, tell Souji she'd only been kidding, and forget the whole ridiculous idea.
But... but... she wanted to see that look. He'd said that he liked it when she spoke with a higher voice. If just this once in her life she could act like a real girl and not a feminine boy, then maybe he would want to... to be with her, to do the things she more and more often caught herself fantasizing about doing with him.
Thoughts about having him slide his hand up her leg, or cupping her breast in his hand to appreciate its weight. Thoughts like having him kiss her, not just on the mouth but other places. More intimate places. Thoughts that woke her in the night, feverish and aching, and wouldn't leave her alone until she slipped her hand beneath her pyjamas and did the things she imagined him doing to her.
The hot, tight ache in her groin made her want to squirm, and she couldn't seem to catch her breath. She knew that what she was feeling was desire. She understood the mechanics of sex, had researched the subject with the thoroughness she gave to every investigation. Book knowledge and the intimate reality of the possibility of it happening were two entirely different things, however.
Well, never let it be said that Shirogane Naoto gave up without a fight. She would do this if it killed her.
She knew just enough about make-up and its application to know she would look like a clown if she tried to do much with it, but a little lip gloss was easy enough to do correctly. She had to admit she liked the way it made her lips shine. A quick run with a brush through her hair fluffed it out a bit, though it was nowhere near as beautiful as Yukiko-senpai or Rise's. Nothing she could do about that, unfortunately.
Once that was done, she'd completed everything she could think of to try to make herself look more feminine and attractive. Now all that was left was the moment of truth.
It took all of her courage to make herself walk back to Souji's room, and she was grateful they were alone in the house. For a moment she thought she wouldn't be able to make herself open his door, but finally she took a deep breath and forced herself to go in.
He glanced up and blinked at her, looking a little stunned. She fidgeted, clasping her hands in front of her chest as if she could hide her altered appearance. Gods, so she'd made a fool of herself after all. "I know it's what all the girls wear, but um... isn't the skirt too short?" she heard herself babbling.
Then he smiled at her, and the heat in his eyes was everything she could have wished to see and more. There was no present he could get her that would have made her Christmas more perfect.